What’s this about?

This is an experiment that I’m trying out to find my relationship partner. I’m heterosexual.

Why am I doing this?

I don’t know about you, but I have lost faith in the dating apps of today. I have tried a few (looking at you CMB, League, Hinge, & Bumble) and none of them worked out for me. Here are a few reasons why: (a) they cheapen the process of finding an important person in life, (b) the opportunity cost to switch is too low, (c) they force me to be overly judgemental, and (d) they lack the features I want.

Mainly though, I realized that this website and all of my writing is such a vital part of who I am that I want my potential partner to be someone who is interested in meeting me because of that, rather than learning about it later on.  

Things you should know about me

In case you haven’t seen it yet, I’ve already shared some details on my home page.

Personality: I’m a 24-year-old ISFJ-A. I feel things too deeply — both good and bad. I have a very big quirky side to me. I’m cheerful and generous in general. And I’m a terrible liar. P.S. There’s only so much you can know from theory though, you’ll learn the rest if you meet me.

Values: I uphold a few values strongly — the willingness to change, compassion, listening intently, curiosity, and hardwork.

Social situations: I am quiet by default when I’m in a group of people (exception: the group is filled with my closest circle). Partly because I like observing conversations, partly because I am too shy/anxious to speak up. But if I am being addressed by name, my barrier breaks away for a while.

Work ethic: On average, I work 12-hour days (including most Saturdays) on a variety of things. I will make an exception for people iff I genuinely find value in growing the relationship and enjoy spending time with them. 

Foibles: I know a few of my foibles well — I’m unpunctual, an over-analyzer, insecure around a certain type of people, and snobbish in choosing who I spend time with (aka I will not say yes to just any acquaintance/friend). 

Turn-offs: These characteristics are instant turn-offs for me — when someone interrupts me (or someone else) while talking, gives unsolicited advice, is unengaging, doesn’t acknowledge their privilege, and treats important things with levity.

What I’m looking for

…is first someone who is able to resonate with everything they’ve read so far.

Expanding on that, while I’m looking for someone unique and different from me in many aspects, there are a few fundamental values I want us to share: you love reading non-fiction, you work 12+ hour days (aka you deeply care about your impact in the world), you have a value system, you have a big quirky side, you consider kindness to be one of your core traits, and you are willing to change/evolve.

If you’re still genuinely interested

…that’s great! =)

As I said, this is an experiment. I have no idea who is reading this right now; but that’s also the beauty of it. It could be anyone around the world.

If, after reading all that, you’re still genuinely interested, can resonate with what you read, and you’re currently in San Francisco, shoot me an email (I know, how romantic! 🙈) at [email protected] with the subject: “<Your Name>: Asking You Out =)”  (you can lose the smiley if you want). A few things about the email:

  • Please don’t send it anonymously; not a fan of blind dates.
  • You know quite a bit about me by now, so I’d love to know a fair bit about you in the email, along with some pictures of yourself so I don’t have to stalk you on LinkedIn…
  • Don’t hate me if I politely decline your invitation.

 

Even if it doesn’t end up in a relationship, we both will have hopefully made a new friend. 🙂