What’s this about?

This is an experiment to see if I can meet potential dates without using dating apps. I’m heterosexual.

Why am I doing this?

I don’t know about you, but I have lost faith in the dating apps of today. I have tried a few (looking at you CMB, League, Hinge, & Bumble) and none of them worked out for me. Here are a few reasons why: (a) they cheapen the process of finding a significant other, (b) the opportunity cost to switch is too low, (c) they force me to be overly judgemental, and (d) they lack the features I want.

Mainly though, I realized that this website and all of my writing is such a vital part of who I am that I want my potential partner to be someone who is interested in meeting me because of that, rather than learning about it later on.  

Things you should know about me

In case you haven’t seen it yet, I’ve already shared some details on my home page.

Personality: I’m a 24-year-old ISFJ-A. I feel things too deeply — both good and bad. I have a very big quirky side to me. I’m cheerful and generous in general. A terrible liar. And sometimes I get spontaneous (crazy) and dive into the deep.

Values: I uphold a few values strongly — the willingness to change, compassion, listening intently, curiosity, and hardwork.

Social situations: I am quiet by default when I’m among a new group of people. Partly because I like observing conversations, partly because I am too shy/anxious to speak up. But I get gregarious if someone addresses me by name.

Work ethic: On average, I work 12-hour days (including some Saturdays) on a variety of things.

Foibles: I know a few of my foibles well — I’m unpunctual, an over-analyzer, insecure around a certain type of people, and snobbish in choosing who I spend time with (aka I will not say yes to just any acquaintance/friend). 

Turn-offs: These characteristics are instant turn-offs for me — when someone interrupts me (or someone else) while talking, gives unsolicited advice, is unengaging, doesn’t acknowledge their privilege, and treats important things with levity.

Finally, I am looking to be in an open relationship (aka date more than one person) right now.

What I’m looking for

I’m not looking for specific traits (although I used to). Everyone is unique. You are unique. Rather, I’m looking for people with whom I can have novel experiences. If you can resonate with what you’ve read so far, you should reach out (more on that below).

If you’re still genuinely interested

…that’s great! =)

As I said, this is an experiment. I have no idea who is reading this right now; but that’s also the beauty of it. It could be anyone around the world.

If, after reading all that, you’re still genuinely interested, can resonate with what you read, and you’re currently in San Francisco, shoot me an email (I know, how romantic! 🙈) at [email protected] with the subject: “<Your Name>: Asking You Out =)”  (you can lose the smiley if you want). A few things about the email:

  • Please don’t send it anonymously; not a fan of blind dates.
  • You know quite a bit about me by now, so I’d love to know a fair bit about you in the email, along with some pictures of yourself so I don’t have to stalk you on social media…
  • Don’t hate me if I politely decline your invitation.

 

Even if it doesn’t end up in a relationship, we both will have hopefully made a new friend. 🙂